The Online Helper

English
1-800-273-8255
para la
Prevencion de SUICIDIO
1-888-628-9454

Gay or Lesbian Suicide
The Trevor Project
Hotline 866—488-7386

SUICIDE
Why would someone want to commit suicide ?

Deaths caused by war, crime, and accidents are difficult to accept but somehow easier to understand than deaths caused by suicide.

The reasons that people feel like they have to, or do commit suicide, are as vast as the number of lives it claims each year.

Suicides are a big cause of deaths each year.

Some reasons are:

• Depression, depression which never goes away,
• Physical and / or Mental Abuse,
• Peer Pressure, Bullying from others,
• Feelings of Social or Family Non-acceptance,
• Loneliness, too many people, even older people who lose a , companion suffer in silence and eventually commit suicide,
• Financial Problems or Being Pursued for Money they know they can never possibly pay,
• The Loss of A Loved One Who Committed Suicide, a person with a close relative or friend who commit suicide are at a much higher risk of committing suicide their self,
• Abuse of Illegal Drugs, Excessive Use of Alcohol,
• Mental Illness,

Please watch the video of a young man, who offers a little more insight as to why someone would want to commit suicide. The young man's name is Myles, his YouTube ID is Blade376. His YouTube site is one where teens and younger adults can find support on issues like suicide.

The key to Suicide Prevention is understanding and forgiveness.

If you have been left behind by someone who has commited suicide, it's important to remember it is okay to forgive yourself.


If You Need Help..Please Call The Number At The Top Of This Page !!
ALL CALLS ARE TOLL FREE and PRIVATE .

I would like to thank the person who drew the picture at the top of this article, for it shows the naked isolation that a lot of people feel that makes them believe that suicide is the only way out.

English Speaking Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Espanol: 1-888-628-9454

The young man in the Video above placed this video on YouTube after his own Suicidal Thoughts and Self-Harm Issues.
He hopes to bring others together to help do away with the stigma about depression, mental illness, and thoughts of or attempted suicide.

Scroll Down For More Videos

Facts about Self-Harm
Self - Injury Video
1 Person's Story
This is me sharing my story of self-injury. This is dedicated to all of the people who have struggles with self-injury.
the scar at 1:32.. if you're wondering why that looks so infected is because i tried to get my friend to do it for me so I didn't have to tell my parents. :( Never do that!
Also, a few of these are pictures from my friend. She wanted to make a video too, but was too nervous. So she asked if I could put them in mine.

Teen Depression and Suicide

"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"

Suicide and Depression
What to Look for and Treatment Options
by: Linda Courtney

Suicide is a word that most people speak in hushed tones, if they speak of it at all. There is an expression that if a person talks about suicide than they will not attempt it. People should not ignore anyone who mentions suicidal thoughts. Instead, the person who may be suicidal should be steered toward the help he or she desperately needs. A mental health professional is very capable of handling the situation.

Factors as to why a person has become suicidal can include clinical depression, drug or alcohol abuse, and a family history of depression/suicide. A person could also have someone that he or she cared about die by suicide (family/friend or celebrity) and that could trigger the thoughts. Suicide deaths are split up between the age groups.

Women are more likely to seek help for depression and suicidal thoughts whereas men are the ones who are more likely to commit suicide. There are uncertainties as to why this is. Men may be less likely to seek help from a professional before it is too late. Men are also the ones most likely to choose firearms to perform the task. Firearms are deadly no matter what. No one with a history of severe depression should have access to guns period.

Depression and suicide are thought to connect. Depression may not always lead to suicidal thoughts but the chance is always there. This is why it is imperative to get someone to a mental health professional when depression is noted. Many anti-depressants are on the market that will help a person to feel better. Unfortunately there can be many side effects. Through trial and error the doctor can find the one that works though.

Many of those who are depressed do not realize that they are. For this reason, it may be up to friends or family to take note and push an individual towards help. Notation should be made that depression is a treatable illness. This fact should be reiterated to patients so they understand this. Any medications need to be taken continuously as instructed by the doctor or a relapse can occur. Reading and researching has been found to be a great help to patients who suffer from suicidal thoughts as well as depression. Many good books can be found online or in the library.

If any of the following symptoms of depression are noticed, seek help as soon as humanly possible.

o A constant sadness

o No pleasure in anything

o Crying, feeling hopeless or constant negativity

o A decrease in energy levels

o Lack of concentration or ability to make decisions

o Sleep patterns that are disturbed (too much or too little sleep)

o Change in appetite and/or weight

Only a token few are listed. Every individual is different. This article was written as a guideline in what to look for and how to prevent depression and suicide. A good website listing many great resources is http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.suicide.html

About The Author
Linda Courtney is owner of LAC International Inc. The business is selling e-books about all areas of health and fitness. The main website is http://www.fitnessebooksforall.com. Linda suffers bipolar disorder herself and has a blog that covers everything regarding mental illness. Knowledge is the key to managing these illnesses. http://ifeelasin.blogspot.com/.
The author invites you to visit: http://www.fitnessebooksforall.com

Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK

Sometimes Stress Can Be
Too Much To Handle Alone

Ask for help if you:

1) Are not able to take care of yourself or your children.

2) Are not able to do your job.

3) Use alcohol or drugs to get away from your problems.

4) Feel sad or depressed for more than two weeks.

5) Think about suicide.

If you or someone you know is having trouble dealing stress or with a tragedy, ask for help.
Talk to a counselor, your doctor, or community organization, such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-TALK).

Suicide: In Memory
by: Kay Kopit

Debra was radiant in her scarlet dress wrapped tautly over her swollen belly. Proudly she gave each guest a tour of the nursery, decorated in yellows and greens with love and care, as she awaited the birth of her first child. I commented to her friend Carol, "What a perfect day for a shower. The weather is beautiful." Carol and I were hosting this special event for Debra on April 10, 1988. Her baby was due the middle of May. We knew, as well as all her family and friends, she longed to be a mother. She had been planning her family since high school. As I drove the half hour drive home, I reflected what a superb day this had been. Debra was healthy and her dreams were coming true. I felt extremely close to her and was grateful I could honor her with a party.

Around 10:00 p.m. that evening the telephone rang. I was startled. The phone ringing after 9:00 p.m. has always bothered me. I chose to let the answering machine pick it up and I screened the call. At this time of my life I was doing commercial voice-overs. My message was an upbeat rhythmical ditty, which might have been construed by some as annoying and commercial. I heard my sister-in-law say in a somber tone of voice, "Kay, you must get rid of that message." I picked up. "John is dead. He did it. He shot himself." I was paralyzed with the weight of her words! I don't think I have ever felt worse emotional pain in all of my life. My brother, age 45, my only sibling, had killed himself.

I had already experienced death. My mother, father and stepfather all had died from complications due to alcoholism. Although I do believe that drug abuse and alcoholism are a form of suicide, this was different! The depth of my grief was indescribable. I do the best

I can with thoughts of John, but to this day I can't dwell on him for too long because it still hurts so badly. He was my baby brother, a devoted father, and a good soul who grew up with major distortions in his home life. Because I understood the nature of his disease, I had empathy for him and his decision.

John was troubled, beginning in his youth. He was the child who "acted out" his frustrations with the imbalanced life we led. In grade school he tormented other children, not with violence, but with incessant teasing. He craved love and attention and went out of his way to concoct methods of getting it. There was an underlying loneliness, which I could detect. In high school, my brother was sick and bed ridden for several weeks. He had epilepsy (which was under control with drugs) and thrombophlebitis (blood clots.) It was recommended by his physician that he quit playing football a sport he loved. During his illness he plotted his future. He wanted to be a millionaire. He thought the path to a successful life was money. As soon as he was able, he began studying and working at a variety of sales jobs to accomplish his goals. He had a gift for marketing and a charismatic personality, which enabled him to influence sales, whatever the product, and also impress women. He became quite popular, was well dressed and handsome. From outward appearances it looked like John would succeed.

His businesses grew rapidly; he married and started a family. I truly believe he wanted to flourish in relationships as much as work. But, he was crippled. He didn't know how. He loved being a father and did the best he could for his two young girls. They remember him fondly. On his tombstone it reads, "Greatest Dad." They were 10 and 11 when he died.
Although John didn't drink because of his epilepsy, he was a compulsive gambler. This disease accelerated during the early 1980's. Before his death, he was heavily in debt. Although none of our family knew, he was also addicted to "the businessman's cocktail; cocaine," and had become a heavy user. It didn't take long for him to slide into deep depression. His world began to deteriorate and he was in trouble with the law for the first time in his life.
I
lived away from John, in different states, for many years. I wasn't aware of the seriousness of his addiction. Actually, no one was because my brother was expert at keeping secrets. The culmination of his disease was with his arrest for selling cocaine. The fact that he would go to prison exacerbated his sadness. He felt he could not survive incarceration. The fear, shame, and humiliation consumed him. He tried an overdose of pills and was unsuccessful. I didn't find out about this until weeks after the attempt. I begged John to go to NA, Al-Anon, or any 12-step program. He wouldn't confront the truth and remained in denial. I used myself as an example because; after all, we shared the same family background; all this to no avail. He actually tried again a second time, but a friend thwarted his efforts. This put him in Intensive Care for several weeks. It was there that I spoke with him for the last time. He said, "I wish I had spent more time with you; I love you Kay." The day he left the hospital, he was determined not to fail, and chose a gun. A precious life was over.

We were different in many ways, John and I. He didn't believe in God. He did not feel the guidance of a Higher Power and he did not have faith in the divinity of Love.

Several years before my brother's death, I, too, reached the level of psychological depression to want to end my life. This event is detailed in my DVD, "I Survived: One Woman's Journey of Self-Healing and Transformation." I thought about it, but instead of acting on it, I reached out to Suicide Prevention and was saved by a voice on the telephone. A gentle man listened to my crying and enveloped me with understanding. The day I reached bottom, I knew I was dying. But, I heard the voice of God, the Brain of the Universe. I didn't give up. My transformation is documented in the article, "I Survived."

Debra and her family were loving and supportive when John died. She tried to help me come to grips with my sorrow. I had no idea that she herself was beginning the throes of addiction. It wasn't obvious. Debra was consumed with being a new mother and she excelled at the role. She seemed to handle the myriad jobs of motherhood without flinching. What no one knew was her reliance on wine to combat stress. She hid it well. There was no reason to suspect codependency or compulsive drinking, because Debra's parents are not alcoholic or drug users. Although not as common as when one grows up in a dysfunctional family, she was steadily becoming a closet drinker.

I spent time with Debra after her first child, a beautiful girl, was born. I was in awe of her parenting skills. She seemed to always be confident with her decisions. Intuitively she was a loving parent and she had a great sense of humor. She and I spent much time on the phone conversing playfully. During these conversations Debra always wanted to know what I thought and felt about codependency, alcoholism and recovery. She would approach these subjects with curiosity. Whenever I would try to go deeper and ask her what she felt about these issues, she couldn't seem to answer. She would get the glazed look that I have seen so many times in my life; denial.

But I didn't get it, for the only time I saw her drink was socially and never to excess. Having spent the majority of my years in a sick, unhealthy environment, I didn't suspect that Debra was in that place at all.

By the time her second child arrived, three years after the death of my brother, we were like sisters. She invited me to come to the hospital to await the birth of her son. I expected to be in the waiting room for hours. Instead, the nurse invited me to go to the labor room. It wasn't long before we moved to the delivery room where I joined her husband to witness this miracle. The energy in the room was electrifying. Debra gave birth naturally, without drugs, courageously. This was one of the most elevated spiritual experiences I have ever had. I am grateful to have shared it with my good friend.

The 1990's proved to be quite challenging for Debra. Her husband was transferred several times with his job and she was called upon to relocate her family. This was painful for her and by the time of her last move to Washington State in the late 90's her alcoholism had progressed dramatically. Her husband and children were living with a different person. But, all the rest of us, her friends in California, had no idea that she was sick.

All I knew, she was seeing a counselor for depression and I was happy for her. What I didn't know, she wasn't being honest about her drinking and the therapist had prescribed anti-depressants. She always sounded groggy and "out of it" on the phone. I began to worry and wonder what was "real" when we spoke. I found out much later, she mixed alcohol and prescription drugs for months. She was on a down hill slide which ended with a DUI. Finally, she was forced to get help. She entered a Residential Treatment Program ordered by the court. It wasn't long after she was sober; she relapsed and once again returned to an In-House Recovery Program.

After that stint she was clean. The Debra I talked with on the phone was my long lost friend. I thought if anyone could make it, she would be the one. I was wrong. On September 5, 2002, she took her own life.
What has helped me reconcile Debra's death is that she communicates often with me through my dreams. They are quite real. She answers questions that I have, and generally leaves me feeling empowered by her presence. For those of us left behind, the effects of suicide can be devastating. I strongly urge grief counseling; it is never too late.

We need to talk about our feelings of loss. If it isn't possible to see a therapist, open up to a friend who will listen. There is someone who cares.

If you are thinking about killing yourself, you will feel like you are going crazy. You will be numb to the world. When temptation is looming in front of you, turn your back! Reach out; ask for help! Let us know how much you are suffering. We don't want to lose you! I know it isn't easy being here, but when you cross over to the other side you will be continuing your soul's journey. What you haven't healed here, you will need to work on there. Life is a continuum. It never ends. What we learn while in the body accelerates our spiritual growth. Don't give up!

I believe we are all one, all a part of each other. This is why I feel such pain from the loss of my brother and Debra. We are each other's accumulated sorrows as well as our cumulative joys. When someone commits suicide, there is an open sore in our collective psyche. It can be healed. Each time one of us breaks the cycle and recovers; we help the whole of humanity. Each day, in every way, I thank God for the gift of Life. What about you?

For more information on Kay Kopit: www.isurviveddocumentary.com
Contact:
Rhonda Boudreaux
510-236-2668
rdboudreaux1@aol.com
About The Author
Kay Kopit, accomplished artist, actor, writer, speaker and gifted teacher.
Kay Kopit grew up in the Midwest town of Clayton, Missouri. At the age of sixteen she choreographed as well as designed and made costumes for several high school productions. Here she found her passion for art and theatre.
Kay attended the University of Missouri where she received a B.S. in Art Education and M.A. in Painting and Ceramics. While in college she continued her interest in theater production succeeding in choreography and costume design for several major productions, including "Carnival" and "Once Upon a Mattress." After graduate school she taught Life Drawing, Design, and Ceramics at the very prestigious Stephens College in Columbia, Missouri.
In 1969 Kay was inspired to move to the East or West Coast. By the flip of a coin (literally) she decided to move to the East Coast where she made Boston, Massachusetts her home. She was immediately offered a position teaching art at Lexington High School. After several successful years teaching Kay was determined to pursue a career in the arts and theatre and moved to California.
Kay moved to San Francisco where she trained with Wendell Phillips of the well-known Stagegroup Theatre. For several years she studied acting, dance, public speaking, and playwriting with reputable names such as Elizabeth Huddle of A.C.T., Peter Layton of The Drama Studio of London at Berkeley, and Sue Walden of the Improvisational Workshop.
Kay had continued success in her acting and modeling career. She appeared in many national commercials including: Dreyer's Grand Ice Cream, Hunt Wesson Foods, Totino's Pizza, Shaklee, and many more. She acted as the principal spokesperson for several Industrial Films including: Chevron, Fireman's Fund, Zenger Miller Productions and American Protective Services. Her print work was extensive including: Ketchum Advertising, Safeway, and Emporium-Capwell.
Kay's good business sense and devotion to teaching inspired her to open her own pottery in Marin County, California. She founded and operated, "Clay In Mind," a ceramic school and gallery in San Rafael. This venture led to "Clay In Mind II" a manufacturing plant in San Diego, California. After many productive years the opportunity to sell came and Kay felt it was a good time to do so.
Most recently, Kay is the writer and producer of a documentary of her life story, "I Survived: One Woman's Journey of Self-Healing and Transformation" which covers 15 years of living with an alcoholic. Although Kay was successful in her life, behind closed doors she endured pain, shame and emotional maiming. Her story is being told to help others overcome the debilitating disease of codependency.
Kay is now living an amazing life with her husband Bryan of 17 years (who just happens to be 19 years her junior.) To complete their family they adopted a daughter at birth when Kay was 54 years of age. Besides being a mother and wife she continues with her love of painting, writing, teaching and speaking on the subject of codependency. Her passion is not only the arts but to help people through her inspirational story. Her courage, stamina, and faith have given her direction and the gift of helping give others hope. Kay has several published articles and writing a monthly column for Recovery Times.
Read more about Kay Kopit at www.ISurvivedDocumentary.com.
Contact: Rhonda Boudreaux
Publicist
Kay Kopit Productions
510-367-5990
rdboudreaux1@aol.com

• YOU MUST BE 18 OR OLDER TO CLICK ON THE GREEN SMOKE AD

The Joys of Being Healthy
by: Kay Kopit

It is amazing to be able to say I am a whole, happy, healthy, loving woman. I was sick for the first 40 years of my life. Like millions of other human beings I grew up immersed in the family disease of alcoholism. For generations it has plagued my family. The unbalanced life I led is so common in our society; I didnt know anything was wrong. I was a participant in the chaos, confusion, neuroses, pain and suffering which is present in dysfunctional families. I call it The Dance of Death.

I grew up in St. Louis, Missouri in the community of Clayton. The only memories I have of my father are when he would beat my brother and me with his belt so severely my clothes would cling to the bloody strap marks on my legs. He would make us wait for our punishment in our room before he dealt the ugly blows. My mother closed her eyes to what was happening. Both of them partied on weekends where I would find empty highball glasses scattered all over the living room. I had holes in th e soles of my shoes while my mother would model a new diamond cocktail ring, winnings from a weekly poker game. My dad was also a compulsive gambler. He died at the age of 45 when I was nine years old.

My mother attracted another alcoholic to her life soon after my fathers death. They had a symbiotic, codependent and addictive relationship. Every ten days they would consume a case of scotch which was delivered to our apartment from the local liquor store. My mother never appeared drunk but she was distant, selfish and narcissistic. My step fathers disease had progressed to the point he was visibly inebriated most evenings. His attitude was condescending, nasty and self righteous. He was verbally abusive and drove his car while intoxicated on many occasions. When I think back to that period of my history I remember keeping my personal life secret!!! I was ashamed of their behavior. I pretended all was well and I began developing neurotic habits for self preservation.

In my teens I danced several days after school, participated in theater groups, worked in a department store and had creative life in my head. I imagined the way I wanted my world to be and was in denial as to the truth in front of me. I became obsessive, compulsive and an over achiever. Because I worked so hard I accomplished a lot for a young girl but the reality was it was inspired by fear, insecurity and a need for control.

In college I devoted myself to art and earned a B.S. in Education and a M.A. in Painting and Ceramics from the University of Missouri. I was hired as a college instructor soon after graduate school. I felt happy for a time because I was away from home and involved in teaching. I took my job very seriously but the loneliness I felt when I was by myself was debilitating.

I longed for love . . . any kind. I didnt realize it at the time but I had never felt affection. I became preoccupied with thoughts of men. I had guys on my mind constantly! I was popular and had many choices but I picked the ones who I thought needed me. Most often they were from dysfunctional families. I dated a lot of drunks during my 20s. It felt familiar. In spite of my success as an artist and a teacher, I had low self esteem and I knew something was wrong with me.

In l969 I began a new life in another city. Within a week of moving to Boston, Massachusetts, I was brutally raped and hospitalized. I never received help with this trauma and didnt properly grieve until years later. I pushed down the pain and was then, more than ever, resolved to create the perfect life for myself, (as if it were in my hands?)

This was made easy for me when Joey Haudel entered my life. He filled the position of my Knight in Shining Armour, albeit, distorted.

He was young, handsome, and alcoholic and had just been released from prison. We needed each other like ducks need water. We bonded in a codependent relationship that lasted 12 years.

Our experiences together were astounding. What I learned about myself was profound. Our journey is almost unbelievable. I have told this story in a dramatic narrative, I Survived: One Womans Journey of Self Healing and Transformation on DVD. It is filled with the dark world of illness and moves to the light of wellness. I reached my bottom after years of suffering. I was contemplating suicide but was saved by the Grace of God and the dear voice of a telephone operator who kept me on the phone for over an hour.

I spent years in recovery; beginning with Al-Anon meetings in 1973, several series of Adult Children of Alcoholic Therapy Sessions, individual therapy with numerous therapists and devouring self help books. I had the courage to look within and face the demons. It wasnt easy and many times I wanted to quit. I often felt I was too depressed to get well. One step at a time I forged ahead and never looked back! I visualized a healthy prognosis. Today I am living that beautiful picture!

I am happily married to a man 19 years my junior. What makes our relationship extraordinary is that my husband was born in 1960 the year after I graduated from high school. I am older than his mother. We recently celebrated our 17th anniversary and continue to share the most fabulous life. The secret of our success is our deeply committed love for one another. We enjoy a passionate romance.

I wish what Bryan and I have could be sprinkled over the world like angel dust.

We met in 1985 during a rainy winter in San Francisco. We were neighbors on a tiny street near the historic Mission Dolores. The worst storm of the season was on its way and my roof was leaking profusely. I was in dire straits financially, having been newly divorced. I was preparing to fix it myself. Unfortunately my ladder wasnt tall enough. I needed help. None of the folks I knew were home that Saturday morning but I noticed an open door directly across from my house. I hurried upstairs to the second story flat in the azure painted duplex and walked down the long corridor to the living room. There on the sofa was a guy watching the football game on T.V. I introduced myself and then proceeded to ask for his assistance. He looked at me like I was nuts. The silence was deafening. How often does a stranger enter your apartment with a request for help with a major repair? I was flushed with embarrassment but was in too deep to recover. Fortunately he agreed to help me.

This uncommon beginning signaled the magic that lay before us. The sparks flew. We went on our first date within days of this meeting. Bryans car was broken so we took the bus across the city to an authentic Moroccan restaurant where we sat on paisley cushions and ate with our fingers. I remember clearly how primitive this felt and how natural it was to be with him. He didnt seem the least bit concerned about my age. I, on the other hand, was more sensitive. I was still healing from the codependent relationship of 12 years and had never experienced true intimacy. I wasnt sure it was the proper thing to do but I couldnt help myself; I was falling in love. I was scared because these feelings were coming so quickly.

Bryan moved in with me within weeks of our first meeting. I remember thinking if it didnt work out it would be easy to ask him to leave because all he owned was a T.V. For Valentines Day he created a hanging wire mobile in the shape of intertwined hearts and presented it to me with flowers and chocolate. This type of thoughtful gesture is typical of Bryan. He has never missed a special occasion and has often surprised me with jewelry when he returns from a business trip.

One evening in the spring we were waiting to board a dinner train in Mendocino. A drunken man approached us and said, How come you two are dressed up? Are you getting married? Bryan looked at me and said, Yes, we are arent we? That was his proposal. It was decided we would plan a wedding for later that year. But, first I needed to meet Bryans mother.

Just the thought of it terrified me! Bryan and his mother, Sharon, have a rare bond. He insisted he would not tell anyone about our engagement until she and I met. We drove to southern California where Sharon was visiting her sister, Bryans aunt. I felt sick the entire trip. I knew in advance he was going to take his mother shopping the next morning alone to break the news to her. I couldnt sleep at all that night. What felt so right to Bryan and me was unusual, especially in the eyes of a parent. When they returned from their excursion Sharon looked like she had just come from a funeral. Fortunately, for me, Aunt Toby accepted the situation and eased the tension by giving me a white angel ornament. His mother is a wonderful woman. In spite of her disappointment, she welcomed me into their family. Over the years our relationship has evolved into a unique friendship, a cross between a peer and a sister.

December 7, 1986, dressed in an ivory colored Victorian gown, I was driven to our wedding in a horse drawn carriage. I remember the sensation well. As I heard the clip-pity clop of the hoofs hitting the pavement I felt it was the happiest day of my life. The ride was several miles long and I enjoyed cars honking loudly at every turn. When we arrived at the elegant Alamo Square Inn Bryan was waiting to escort me inside to the nuptials. It was a good thing he took my hand, for as I exited the carriage, my knees collapsed from shaking so hard. The day was spectacular marking a lifetime of love.

Both Bryan and I had always wanted kids. By the time we met my biological clock had run out. He told me he would rather marry a woman he loved deeply than to wait for someone to bear his children. For several years we were content to be a unit of two. After my dear Aunt Letha died in 1992 I longed for a child. Bryan agreed to adoption. It was an arduous experience requiring patience and resilience. We had several birthmothers who changed their minds for different reasons. This process took three years and a great deal of money. Ultimately we were blessed with a baby girl we named Mariah. Our daughter is now 8 years old and the light of our life. I am grateful I am able to be a good parent and I relish every moment I spend with both of them as a family.

Bryan continues to be my rock, strength and loving support. During our years together I have had many tragedies including: my brother Johns suicide in 1988, my ex- husband Joeys death from alcoholism in 1989, and my girlfriend Debras suicide in 2002. I was hospitalized with a potentially life threatening blood clot in my lungs in 1998. Bryan stood by me through all of these. I married a great guy! I am a fortunate woman to have found true love in the heart of a younger man.

Each day I thank God for the gifts I have been given. I see my world as peaceful and balanced. My mission is to inspire people to their own healing and recovery. It is truly possible to find serenity, joy and love. If I can do it, so can you.

To learn more about Kay Kopit visit: www.isurviveddocumentary.com
Contact: Rhonda Boudreaux
Office: 510-236-2668
Mobile: 510-236-2668

About The Author
Kay Kopit, accomplished artist, actor, writer, speaker and gifted teacher.
Kay Kopit grew up in the Midwest town of Clayton, Missouri. At the age of sixteen she choreographed as well as designed and made costumes for several high school productions. Here she found her passion for art and theatre.
Kay attended the University of Missouri where she received a B.S. in Art Education and M.A. in Painting and Ceramics. While in college she continued her interest in theater production succeeding in choreography and costume design for several major productions, including Carnival and Once Upon a Mattress. After graduate school she taught Life Drawing, Design, and Ceramics at the very prestigious Stephens College in Columbia, Missouri.
In 1969 Kay was inspired to move to the East or West Coast. By the flip of a coin (literally) she decided to move to the East Coast where she made Boston, Massachusetts her home. She was immediately offered a position teaching art at Lexington High School. After several successful years teaching Kay was determined to pursue a career in the arts and theatre and moved to California.
Kay moved to San Francisco where she trained with Wendell Phillips of the well-known Stagegroup Theatre. For several years she studied acting, dance, public speaking, and playwriting with reputable names such as Elizabeth Huddle of A.C.T., Peter Layton of The Drama Studio of London at Berkeley, and Sue Walden of the Improvisational Workshop.
Kay had continued success in her acting and modeling career. She appeared in many national commercials including: Dreyers Grand Ice Cream, Hunt Wesson Foods, Totinos Pizza, Shaklee, and many more. She acted as the principal spokesperson for several Industrial Films including: Chevron, Firemans Fund, Zenger Miller Productions and American Protective Services. Her print work was extensive including: Ketchum Advertising, Safeway, and Emporium-Capwell.
Kays good business sense and devotion to teaching inspired her to open her own pottery in Marin County, California. She founded and operated, Clay In Mind, a ceramic school and gallery in San Rafael. This venture led to Clay In Mind II a manufacturing plant in San Diego, California. After many productive years the opportunity to sell came and Kay felt it was a good time to do so.
Most recently, Kay is the writer and producer of a documentary of her life story, I Survived: One Womans Journey of Self-Healing and Transformation which covers 15 years of living with an alcoholic. Although Kay was successful in her life, behind closed doors she endured pain, shame and emotional maiming. Her story is being told to help others overcome the debilitating disease of codependency.
Kay is now living an amazing life with her husband Bryan of 17 years (who just happens to be 19 years her junior.) To complete their family they adopted a daughter at birth when Kay was 54 years of age. Besides being a mother and wife she continues with her love of painting, writing, teaching and speaking on the subject of codependency. Her passion is not only the arts but to help people through her inspirational story. Her courage, stamina, and faith have given her direction and the gift of helping give others hope. Kay has several published articles and writing a monthly column for Recovery Times.
Read more about Kay Kopit at www.ISurvivedDocumentary.com.
Contact: Rhonda Boudreaux
Publicist
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How to Prevent Suicide
by: Michael G. Rayel, MD

A British weapon's inspector was found dead in the woods after he slashed his wrist.
For the past few weeks, he was entangled with a controversy about the war in Iraq.

On Monday, a Hyundai executive leaped to his death from the 12th floor.
He was on trial for allegedly paying off North Korea $100 million to agree to a 2000 summit between North and South Korea.
In both urban and rural areas, many more suicide cases do not go unnoticed. Through local papers and the town's rumor mills, suicide becomes a sad tale and a mystery.

Why would people kill themselves?
Recent studies have shown the correlation between suicide and serotonin deficiency in the brain. Moreover, the presence of significant stress has far-reaching consequences especially if such stressor, such as legal entanglements, results in profound hopelessness and depression. Frequently, when there is no immediate resolution to the problem, suicide becomes an attractive escape.
It then becomes obvious that suicide is not only a medical disorder but a psychosocial issue. It is more than just a manifestation of emotional distress. It is a complication of an unresolved state of affairs.
There is no question that suicide is devastating to everyone. I have seen loved ones grapple with the pain of the loss and shame associated with the manner of death. Pain and grief among relatives persist for months despite efforts to feel better though counseling and medication.

Can suicide then be prevented?
Suicide prevention is as much a science as it is an art. Although applying scientific psychotherapeutic techniques can be effective, the gentle art of dealing with the suicidal person makes all the difference.
Having stated these, if clues of suicidal behavior can be recognized early and sources of stress addressed immediately, then the risk of suicide can be reduced. The issue of early recognition and remedy therefore becomes crucial. The CARE approach can help loved ones cope.

What is the CARE Approach?
The CARE Approach is a practical four-step process that a person can use in dealing with a disorder such as suicidal behavior and depression. This approach emphasizes early recognition and intervention. The early process includes the following:
1) Check for signs of emotional illness
2) Anticipate complications
3) Remedy with early intervention and
4) Educate yourself about the illness.

Check for signs of emotional illness or distress
Suicide, like any medical disorder, does not happen instantly or "out of the blue." Usually, it is preceded by emotional turmoil such as depression, agitation, significant anxiety, impulsivity, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.
Look for outward sign that shows deviation from the person's usual self. Observe any changes in functioning. Is the person less motivated to work? Does the person prefer to stay in bed and withdraw from friends and family members? Check also for any physiologic changes such as inability to sleep, eat, and concentrate.

Anticipate complications
Watch out for complications once you know that your loved one is in distress. Be aware of any changes such as suicidal and homicidal behavior and aggression. If not showing actual destructive behavior, ask for any thoughts of death or wanting to die or to kill.
Inquiring about the presence of suicidal or homicidal thought will not push your loved one to act destructively. In fact, your loved one might be encouraged to disclose more information and to express well-kept emotions.

Remedy with Early Intervention
Early intervention requires you to first accept or acknowledge that a problem exists and the urgent need to address it. Being in denial can only make matters worse. Denial interferes in recognizing on-going problem.

Assist in addressing your loved ones pressing issues. Offer to provide some financial support or to contact appropriate government agencies. For someone in legal trouble, suggest obtaining the advice of a good lawyer.

Be available and supportive. Reassure your loved ones that you will be in their side no matter what. Let them talk about their worries and travails. Provide a listening ear. Avoid arguments and criticisms. Show empathy.

Be alert for signs of destructive behavior such as wrist slashing, overdosing, verbalizing death, agitated behavior, writing or changing a will, and giving away properties. If your loved one is in distress, clarify if one has entertained destructive thoughts.

Call for help. Because suicidal and homicidal behavior requires immediate help, further delay is a not an option. Call mental health hotline, mental health services, or emergency rooms to seek guidance and to ask for the next step. Do not hesitate to call law enforcement agencies or mental health crisis team if your loved one refuses to get help.

Educate Yourself

Knowing about the illness, the dos and don'ts, and how to best cope is a powerful way of dealing with suicide or other destructive behavior. Furthermore, education helps you get rid of misconception, self-blame, guilt, and shame.
In summary, suicide, like cancer, has only one goal - death. It has caused agony, sleepless nights, and oceans of tears for those who are left behind. However, despite its deadly intentions, suicide is also a cry for help. Fortunately, simple steps such as the CARE approach make suicide surmountable.

About The Author
©
Michael G. Rayel, MD. Dr. Rayel, author of First Aid to Mental Illness (Finalist, Reader's Preference Choice Award 2002), has pioneered the CARE approach as a first aid for mental health. As an expert and an award-winning author, Dr. Rayel has appeared on radio and prominent newspapers. As a first aid advocate, he has conducted Mental Health First Aid workshops. To learn more about his work and books, visit www.drrayel.com.
mike@drrayel.com

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Depression And Suicide
by: Dr. Isaac Schumann

Eighteen year old Catherine had everything: the most supportive family, a loving boyfriend, awesome set of friends and a comfortable life. But all of these things took a backseat when she was diagnosed with depression. From the bubbly chatterbox that she was, she morphed into a melancholic girl who had nothing in mind but to kill herself. "There is nothing left to live for. I'm worthless and hopeless." That statement ran in her head over and over again. She wanted to jump off the bridge or drink formaldehyde on a whim.

She was suicidal.

It took a lot of trips to the doctor and support from her family and friends before Catherine bounced back to normalcy. Now, the melancholia and suicidal thoughts are gone. She has just finished college and is about to start her dream job.

Suicide is defined as the act of killing oneself intentionally.
It stems from severe depression, an illness that intervenes with the mental, physical and emotional aspect of a person.

The majority of depressed people do not actually die from suicide. But depression does trigger a higher suicidal risk. New data has reported that two percent of depressed people who have received treatment for depression in an outpatient scenario might die by suicide. Four percent of those who were treated in an inpatient hospital setting might also die by the same method. Those who have suicidal attempts before are also likely to die by suicide later on. Another research shows that 7 percent of men with a history of depression will eventually kill themselves whereas only 1 percent of women with history of depression will do.

Those who have had mood disorders commit suicide. The clinically depressed younger ones often turn to substance abuse to kill themselves.

The most common method of suicide is by the use of firearms, as it makes up the 60 percent of suicides. From a study of the National

Institute of Mental Health, about 80 percent of white males commit suicide by shooting themselves. This pushes the resolve that a firearm must be removed from the home if a family member is discovered to be at risk for suicide.

The next most common method for men is hanging where as drug overdose or self-poisoning is the second most common suicidal method for the women.

Other than depression, there are other risk factors for suicide:

1. Impulsivity. There are people out who do things on a whim. If one has a gun in hand, he might shoot himself out of an impulse.

2. Traumatic life events. A death of a loved one, financial rut or other adversity might compel a person to kill him or herself.

3. History of suicide in the family. There is such a thing as "suicide contagion" in which a person is exposed to suicides and suicidal attempts often. This can become a risk factor for killing onself.

4. Family violence If one is physically or sexually abused, he or she might turn to suicide to end the ordeal.

5. Suicide attempt before He has done it before, why not do it again?

6. Alcohol and drug abuse An alcoholic or drug addict will reach a point when he will have no qualms on killing himself.

Depression is a problem that has to be uprooted to keep suicidal thoughts at bay. If a person is suicidal, it is a must that he receives professional treatment. Usually, those who are thinking of killing themselves do not know they need help.

Preventing suicide is no easy feat, either. It is in this light that a broad and extensive suicide prevention program must be established.

These programs must zero in on the treatment of depression and drug abuse. Before being launched to the public, they must be scientifically assessed and tested first for effectiveness and safety. They must also be extensive and complex enough so that the effects will last a long time and eventually banish all suicidal thoughts. They must also be carried out according to the age, culture and gender of the suicidal patients.

Depression and suicide do go together, but if one works hard to combat depression thoughts of suicide will be banished.

About The Author
Dr. Isaac Schumann brings to you a life time of experience in the mental health field.
http://www.depressionhelpguides.com

Cremation Tackling Teen Suicide
by joshuacabejohnson

Have you ever been asked, "How can you possibly do what you do?"
I have been asked that question scores of times. Friends, colleagues and even family members will say. "How on earth can you ask people for money?"
"It's easy," I reply, when you believe in the cause."
Last fall at their annual meeting, Funeral Service Foundation (FSF) trustees went through an important exercise in planning. Trustees began to hone in on priorities for our grants program.

This is an exercise that they will continue to go through as our funds grow and our grant making capabilities build. And it is an exciting productive time. It is a time when trustees can discuss how to make a difference in funeral service and on behalf of funeral service. Acting within the framework of the foundation's four-point mission-career and profession development, the support of profession, public awareness and education, and improving children lives-the trustees began discussing what was particularly troubling or concerning to funeral service. In the area of "improving children's lives," FSF choose teen suicide prevention as one of the foundation's interest areas. As our chair, Chris Barrott of Aurora casket, said "Funeral Directors in particular know how devastating the suicide of a young person can be." No further comment needed. Researching the topic of teen suicide prevention led me to uncover some compelling facts. More than 20 percent of high-school students surveyed in 2001 had considered attempting suicide during the previous year.

As the priorities of our country's public-health system have shifted, making suicide prevention goal 1.1 of the 2003 President's New Freedom Commission on Mental Health, it is time to get to the bottom of what is troubling our youth and, as a first step, to identify those who might be at risk. Early this summer, based on last fall's decision, FSF trustees selected the Teen Screen Program of Columbia University as the recipient of this year's Children's Fund award. Teen Screen needs our help. A handful of private foundations have supported this effort. Teen Screen receives no government funding and, importantly, no support from pharmaceutical companies. I am proud to see funeral service contribute to working on a critical cause on a nation level.

The selection of Teen Screen as the 2005 Children's Fund grantee was a careful process overseen by committee and board members of FSF. Children's Fund recipients are highly credible national children's organizations focused on alleviating pain or conflict, currently supported by a national organization with interests similar to or that complement the interests of FSF, and with the ability of opportunity to publicly acknowledge the funeral service community. "The supporters of the Funeral Service Foundation have a unique insight into the suffering that undiagnosed mental illness can cause a family that losses a loved one to suicide," responded Laurie Flynn, director of Teen Screen. "We are touched by your interest in helping to prevent youth suicides through screenings and happy to partner with you to share knowledge about the importance of early identification of mental disorders. " The goal of the Columbia University Teen Screen Program is to ensure that all parents are offered the opportunity for their teens to receive a voluntary mental health check up.

The program's primary objective is to help young people and their parents through the early identification of mental health problems, such as depression. Parents of youth found to be at possible risk are notified and helped with identifying and connecting to local mental health services, where they can obtain further evaluation. No child is screened without parental consent. The results of the screening are confidential. Mental health screening can take place in any number of venues, including schools, clinics, doctors' offices, juvenile justice facilities-in short, anywhere that a group of teens is present.

The President's New Freedom Commission on Mental Health recognized Teen Screen as a model program. Most importantly, mental health screening finds youth with depression and other emotional disorders before they fall behind in school, end up in serious trouble or, worst of all, end their lives. The Children's Fund is supported by $100 gifts during an annual fall campaign. To kick-start this year's fund drive, FSF will make its own promise to Children's Fund donors. The first 50 donors of $100 to this year's Children's Fund will have their names prominently spotlighted during the 2005 NFDA Convention & Expo in Chicago, Illinois, and immediately highlighted on the FSF Website. Titled "50 Forward to 5," details of the web based campaign can be found at www.funeralservicefoundation.org.

About the Author
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